If I live past tonight....

If I live past tonight it may be a miracle. After I post this blog, I will be starting a new road of exercise routine with the evil fitness trainer, Jillian Michaels. I will say, she does get results. She is not know as being nice or sympathetic. I have hit a weight loss plateau and I am certain she will get me through it. I am starting with her DVD, "No More trouble Zones" tonight. I also bought another DVD of hers, "Banish Fat Boost Metabolism". I think I will alternate the two of those DVD's and see what happens. Plus, I am going to continue to jog and switch it up with Zumba as well. If I cannot lose weight with all of this, something is seriously wrong. I have not been to the gym for awhile but thinking that I am going to go back soon just because it starting to get too hot out to run outside AND I am interested in some classes at the gym. So, if you don't hear from me, know that Jillian Michaels needs arrested for my death. ;)

Believe

March and April were some pretty rough months. I refuse to allow May to be a repeat. I am making an EXTREME effort to move forward to make things better. To not allow things to be repeated. To have a positive attitude and to do things to remain lifted up. I have been angry, frustrated, confused, upset, pissed off...all of those things you don't want to be for far too long. And finally, I just broke down. The next stage was being teary eyed and sappy all the time. I am not sure which stage my husband hates worst. I am still in the sappy, teary eyed stage. Just realizing that I have held on to anger and things from the past for far too long. I think I am starting to deal with things in a different way. I think my heart has been through too much for far too long and it is broken. I am on the mend. I will recover. I have a strong faith and sense of what I need to do to recover from the years of strife and heartbreak. I am so thankful for my husband who gets that I don't want to be this way. I want to be that fun loving person I use to be. I want to love life and live it to the fullest instead of being upset about the dumbest things. I believe that going forward my life will change. It will be different because I want it to be. I chose to not go backwards any longer. I chose to be the best me I can be.