Believe

March and April were some pretty rough months. I refuse to allow May to be a repeat. I am making an EXTREME effort to move forward to make things better. To not allow things to be repeated. To have a positive attitude and to do things to remain lifted up. I have been angry, frustrated, confused, upset, pissed off...all of those things you don't want to be for far too long. And finally, I just broke down. The next stage was being teary eyed and sappy all the time. I am not sure which stage my husband hates worst. I am still in the sappy, teary eyed stage. Just realizing that I have held on to anger and things from the past for far too long. I think I am starting to deal with things in a different way. I think my heart has been through too much for far too long and it is broken. I am on the mend. I will recover. I have a strong faith and sense of what I need to do to recover from the years of strife and heartbreak. I am so thankful for my husband who gets that I don't want to be this way. I want to be that fun loving person I use to be. I want to love life and live it to the fullest instead of being upset about the dumbest things. I believe that going forward my life will change. It will be different because I want it to be. I chose to not go backwards any longer. I chose to be the best me I can be.